“But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.” Ps59.16
I found laughter in pain that night You sat with me. Remember?
I had almost broken my neck, riding too fast on my mountain bike. Unable to take that curve at the bottom, I went over the bars, briefly sailed through the air, then crashed on a rock strewn path. I appreciate that You were the one who decided that I would almost, break my neck. I did get hurt. I was also aware that it was You who allowed it. Waking every night in agony, deprived of sleep for days on end, I tried praising You. I remember cursing You too. Then one middle of the night, with that invisible knife twisting in my neck and shoulders, and, just when I thought I could take no more, I found myself laughing. We laughed together. We laughed and laughed. I did wonder if I was losing my mind. Yet at the same time I sensed it was You tickling me, showing me an experience I had never known.
We went outside to sit in the hot-tub, hoping maybe the muscles would relax. Looking at the star filled sky, you showed me a different kind of beauty. Because of my pain, I found myself praying for others in pain. I asked you to remember them, those who live day in and day out with unrelenting agony. Slowly at first, there was a dawning awareness that You were remembering them. You were remembering them even as I was praying and I was praying for them because You willed it. I felt Your pleasure and realized that you brought me to this place so that I could intercede with greater meaning. I felt somehow privileged, that in some small way I was allowed to share in the sufferings of Christ. I will sing in the morning because of the song you have taught me in the night. I am Overwhelmed. 2/3/07 ts
Just me trying to be honest with God.
