“For it is written: "As I live, says the LORD, Every knee shall bow to Me, And every tongue shall confess to God.” Rm14.11
I have lived most of my life with some awareness of the judgment to come. Perhaps it is because I remember, the stern discipline of my dad. Often my mother would reserve punishment for his arrival home from work. Report card days were especially rough. I would pretend to be studying when dad would come through the door. Even after my dad would heat up my back side, pretending was about all I did when it came to changing my study habits. The truth is that fear of punishment may cause us to attend to our surface actions but it doesn’t change the heart. As I grew older, fear of my dad’s judgment was replaced with a fear of God’s. I still had the same pretending problem. I tried to reform but it was all surface stuff. Finally I realized that the problem wasn’t just with my actions but with my heart. I needed a new one. My inability to change, coupled with my fear of judgment brings me to Christ. I find that He is not only addressing my fear of judgment but He is creating in me that new heart. And, though I still sin, and that every day, I find within my soul a new desire, to stop pretending for fear of punishment and start performing because of the power of His love. It is not surprising to find that I still try to go back to pretending. Old habits die hard. How patience He is. How kind also, He will not abandon us to just pretending. What we have known only as make believe, He is making real. 4/23/07 ts
Just me trying to be honest with God.
