Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Ps139.23-24
Once, a man of God whom I greatly respect, told me of a time when he had asked the Lord to show to him any area in his life which was hindering greater fruit. Immediately an old college sin came to mind. The matter seemed so trivial, my friend wondered if it was God speaking or if he was just talking to himself. He asked God that if it was coming from Him to please confirm it. The very next day my friend ran into a person who was directly related to his old sin. My friend realized that God was asking him to make restitution, he did, and a great deal of good has come from it. God continues to use my friends openness, even this morning in my reflections.
I have learned so much from this story and revisit it many times. For one thing, we have all heard those inner voices and wondered if God was speaking to us or if we were just talking to ourselves. Every time I have these doubts, I do as my friend and ask God to confirm if it is in fact coming from Him. When it is, He always does. Just ask Him!
Another thing my friend’s encounter has shown me is that when God tells you to do something, don’t hesitate, just do it.
Yet another blessing this life narrative has passed to me, is the importance of frequently sitting before God with a sincere heart and allow His light to expose harmful attitudes and actions. We need God to search our hearts, not for His benefit but for our own. The first thing I thought of after reading these verses, was that I am afraid that God does not have to search very far in me to find something grievous. What I am saying is that I know very well the sins that are hindering my walk with Him. God often waits on our obedience to already revealed things before He will make known to us deeper things which are keeping us from the way of lasting fruit. Father turn on the light that we may see how we truly are and give us grace to do as You ask. 3/7/07 ts
Just me trying to be honest with God.
